At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just had sex on a roof
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
