She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
