Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize