ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
