We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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