3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
