the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
