I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This is the high leading the old right now
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
