I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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