ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize