Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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