so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
