Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize