Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just gargled with NyQuil
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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