Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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