Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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