So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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