gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
