is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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