I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
