are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
