So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
