Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
