There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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