is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
