Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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