do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
why is half of my head shaved?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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