Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
