Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Soap is not a condiment
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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