But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
