you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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