dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
