so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Come on in and take your pants off
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