I cannot find my penis.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I will pee on everything he values.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
