dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
