Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize