I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
