oh god the rape fog is back!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
