When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did i walk over a car last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
