Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
