And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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