he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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