I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
