and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
