im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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