i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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