Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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