I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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