i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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