Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
