Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize