Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
