And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize