This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
