My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
