Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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