good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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