I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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