Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize