Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
