I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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