i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
