Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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