So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
