PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
